Well blogger world, whoever you are (and I am convinced it is no one), it has been quite a while since we chatted and its about time for an update. I have come to believe (Ok so in the couple days) that blogging does something for processing that journal-ling doesn't. It's still in process what that is, but whatev just go with it. :-)
On life: I finished my fall semester of my junior year and I can't believe how fast it went. Seriously, maybe it was because I have never been so busy in my entire life, but I feel like it was a week ago that I was making decorations for my wing and waiting to get the craziness over. Now that it is, I have never been so happy. This was by far the hardest academic semester and the most demanding schedule, what with 17 credits, PAing, and have multiple Lighthouse practices a week. All things I enjoy, but it was insane!
As usual, the semester brought about joys and sorrows, the majority of which I am still working through. This was the best semester I have had so far at Taylor and that in itself is something to be joyful about! While in the past, God has taught me about who he is as I deal with outward circumstances, this time, I have been learning about myself and how I am suppose to follow him. I have never been so crabby for such a long time in my life and it honestly was because I was so confused by what God wanted from me and understanding how to live for him. I learned a great deal about my personality, desires, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. Let me tell you, it's exhausting, but here was the outcome (though it is still in process). I am learning to appreciate the past, be content in the present, and accept the future. A lot of this is tied up in a struggle in understanding the power of prayer. Moses was able to stop God from destroying the Israelites- how is it possible to do that and what kind of faith does it take? One thing for sure, I know that I don't have that faith. I know God can do whatever I ask, but in the back of my mind are doubts about whether those things fit into the will of God and if he will actually do it. Honestly, I'm scared to pray with authority because what if those things don't occur? Here where I'm at right now: I know that God knows my deepest desires and above that I want him to do whatever he plans (cause that's what's gonna happen anyways). I trust that God could answer my pleas how I want them, but I know that God has a bigger picture and what I might want is probably not as awesome and wonderful as what God had in store for me and those around me. God has allowed for people to come into my life, experiences to happen, and lessons learned for a purpose. He also has a reason for where I am today and he has an incredible plan for my future. I don't always have to know what to do or how to act as long as I am serving God and glorifying him and loving others. There are two verses that have been a huge encouragement to me recently: Proverbs 3:5-6 and 1 Peter 5:6-7. Look them up. They're pretty great.
On family: Since the summer, I have been really exasperated with my family. I'm really tired about how things have been going recently and how no one really talks about it. This is something that has recently really been placed on my heart, but I don't know how to deal with it. I want to be respectful and loving to all involved, but I don't really know what that looks like and so don't know how to do it. I think a large part of my problem is that I really really really despise change. I've been praying for a new attitude about it and God really has done that. I have a new perspective on the situation but know that it still needs to be addressed. Family is the core of a person. It really rocks you when it goes even slightly out of wack.
On India: I'm going to India in January!! With the semester over, it has finally hit me that this is really happening. I am so excited for the whole trip- I'm excited to bond with my team, build relationships with the YFC missionaries, and share the gospel through all sorts of performances and testimonies. God is already working in Bangalore and I can't wait to see what else he does while we are there. It's going to be one memorable wild ride. I'm ready to roll!
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