Crashed Weekends and Bittersweet Spaces

After an eventful weekend, full of ups and downs (with more downs than ups), I am home from one of the best summers I have ever had. In short, my poor car got smashed (and the accident ended two cars ahead of me) on Saturday by a pregnant woman. And while it's super frustrating, especially since I had to fly home today and am not in Indiana to be with Guapo, I can't help but think about what I learned at the leadership summit. God sure has a way of making you practice what you learn. So, I will trust that everything will work out, that God is in control, and pray for a fixed/new car and possibly $5000 (The money because one of my friends got that much from an accident. Hey- it's worth a try, right? :-)) I'm just glad to be home at this point and ready to soak in the next week and a half of nothing before going back to school.

All in all, this whole week has been extremely bittersweet. I have fond memories of the experiences I had at Grace and the friends that I made. God was made new and fresh to me in a way I had been missing out on for a while. I have discovered new passions and desires in my life that I didn't know were there. For example, I love being challenged and am not satisfied with easy answers. I never want to think that I know everything about my faith. I always want to turn hard questions over in order to come closer to the truth or to be affirmed in what I already believe.

Second, I love (and possibly crave) experiences that take me out of my comfort zone. I want to go places where God is clearly present and where love is desperately needed. I will not be satisfied with staying in my comfort zone and I plan on taking people with me. Some day, I hope to be so compelled that people can't help but come with me into places they've never been before and meeting people they would never otherwise meet. I really don't know what all this means, but I fully hope to develop this desire (and maybe a direction for life) in the next year. This is because if I would describe the summer in any way, it would be that I have come out not having a clue with what to do with my life besides that I know that I'm called to love God and love others through full time ministry. Awesome. So direction? I could use some.

And for now, I just feels weird being in this spot of my life. I'm heading into my senior year of college. Weird. Seriously, where did time go? Next thing you know, I'm going to have life 5 kids in the back of a mini van. But for real, the world is at my fingertips; I'm in a place where there are endless possibilities and that's awesome and scary all at once. But, no worries. I'm not going to at least because I still have 9 months, am going to FULLY enjoy my senior year (in every sense) and know that if my ears are tuned for God's whisperings, He will give me direction and I will know what He wants me to do with him. And right now, that's finish school. :-)